help.

I desperately need someone to save me from myself - from my own damaging habits, from my self-destructive ways, from my addiction to the adrenaline rushes of trying to meet deadlines at the very last minute, from my affinity for completely getting knocked out from burn out.

2 weeks left to the term, and I'm barely surviving. I need to rework this lack of a plan, replace this ugly routine of inefficient work hours and stressed out fun. I can't go on like this, not for the next four years that I'll be here. I'm the idiot now, average or below that superficial line that every student at Oxford aims to be beyond. I should be striving harder. I should be working my ass off. I should be reading my eyes sore and squinty. I should do so many things that I'm not doing. I should prioritize. I should drop things. I should make sure I can always cope - because right now, my coping mechanism is an epic epic failure.

Sigh. Some days, nothing helps.

#1 on my to-do list is to...

there.

is. just. too. much. to. do.

so wtf am I doing here! T_T

write on!

Words are the only things that last forever; they are more durable than the eternal hills.

-William Hazlitt

teehee!

I left a piece of my heart in London - but I'll be back, don't worry.

The rooftops of London that I can see from the train have a soft magic about them - they invite me to come on over - to bask in the few hours of sunshine, to wage a merry battle with the forces of gale and rain, to dance in the moonlight like nobody's watching. Perhaps if I had enough faith, trust and pixie dust, stepping over the ledge wouldn't result in my body obeying the laws of gravity.

Home-cooked food (the REAL deal, not the mucking around in a rice cooker like I do), an amazing auntie, buying silly things in charity shops, traversing SoHo, shopping on Oxford Street!, familiar faces amidst new ones, the way neon-pink tights can help you start a conversation in the oddest of situations. All these things (and then some) about London make me smile. :) And next time I return, perhaps I'll have time to attempt to make the guards at Buckingham Palace laugh.

And this sums up my (hopefully) short well-deserved break from Oxford.

because emo lyrics are conducive for studying

"My heart is yours to fill or burst

To break or bury

Or wear as jewellery

Whichever you prefer."

- Hands Down, Dashboard Confessional